Big Bertha and Whiny Walter--How Glad I am Never to See Them Again!

• Living alone, I can now keep on using the same dish/utensils/glass for several days until it actually looks dirty. Nazi Big Bertha* never let anyone leave a plate or anything out for further use because it was "messy." Hmmm. And I thought that finding cat vomit on random windowsills was messy. But apparently, that was just wrong. (Sarcasm, in case you didn't get it.)
• I can now put books and magazines on my coffee table, where they belong. Commentary regarding Big Bertha applies here also.
• No more listening to Whiny Walter* complain about how his white, privileged, trust-fund laden life (yes, I said TRUST FUND, it's true, but he won't admit it anymore), is so hard and that he wants to be an artist, specifically a writer. Nevermind that he cannot spell "chocolate" (true story) among other words, cannot construct a narrative with any sort of color or interest, and his favorite adjective is "a lot," sometimes spelled "alot."
  
• As further proof of Whiny Walter's imbecility, he believes that going on Caribbean and Mexican cruises constitutes visiting third world countries, because there are "lots of poor people there." Wow. If that's his definition of "third world" (ignorant term in the first place), then little did he know that he was living with formerly "third world" individuals.
• Whiny Walter fancied himself a vegetarian. His definition of vegetable apparently means nothing green or coming from nature, but rather pasta, cookies, chips, soda, instant noodle cups, and, if we all went out for pizza, it also includes pepperoni pizza. Nevermind that we ordered half the pizza with ACTUAL VEGETABLES and NO MEAT to attempt to accommodate him. He ate our pepperoni instead. We, the omnivores, ate the vegetables.
• Dovetailing from the no-vegetable vegetarian theme, Whiny Walter often clogged the toilet.
  
• Whiny Walter also fancied himself a cyclist. For a while, every morning, he would load his bike in the back of my car, saying that he intended to ride home after work. But he never did. He would either go to his friend's house who lived nearby and get a ride home from him, or take the bus home. I guess that being a "cyclist" meant carrying his bike around, but never actually riding it.
  
• Big Bertha was only nice to people when she wanted something from them. The rest of the time, she would snap, condescend, and ignore.
• In addition to being whiny, Whiny Walter was also a complete sissy. He would use my blow dryer more often than I did. He would take baths like an old lady with candles. (He set fire to the house on one occasion, which is what precipitated all that eventually led to me moving out.)
• Big Bertha would bring random guys home in the middle of the night. It was often the first time she had ever gone out with them. Really classy. Oh, and did I mentioned that she had to be treated for gonorrhea last year? She was exposed to it by a co-worker.
  
• Big Bertha used people. She was dating a very nice guy but she always said she wasn't into him. Did she break up with him? Not until after he repaired her bike. The timing was definitely not a coincidence.
• Whiny Walter is a cook at a restaurant. Oddly enough, the majority of his cooking attempts at home failed miserably (the one exception was a tomato bisque).
  
• Whiny Walter never took responsibility for his actions. When he started the fire, he never apologized. Instead, he just said that it was "no big deal." If he decided to watch a movie at 1 a.m. and it woke me up, instead of saying "sorry, I'll turn it down," he would say "but it's really low."
  

So, needless to say, after living with these two individuals, I lost all respect for them. Living alone is infinitely better.
*Not their actual names, but I'm sure you can guess who they refer to.